Coworkers snoop through colleague's private social media just to screenshot and send to manager: 'She sent them a selfie I took at home and put on my Instagram story'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 10, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Do you share your social media with your coworkers?

Conventional wisdom these days tells us to keep everything private that we can. Don't reveal too much online, keep your opinions to yourself, and make sure you're not showing up in too many searches. You hear this type of advice all the time. But this seems directly at odds with the reality of how social media fits into our lives these days. It feels as if you don't have an online presence; you don't have any cache in the real world. So much business happens online, and if you're not selling yourself on there, you might be missing out on a slice of that pie. But this is a Catch-22, because as much as social media can help you get a job, it can also hinder you professionally. The wrong screenshot in the wrong hands can cost you your job. 

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  • Two women side eye each other at work
    via Resume Genius

    A coworker looks at another coworker suspiciously at their shared desk

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • That's what happened in this story, where a coworker saw an opportunity to get another coworker in trouble. Nobody likes a snitch, especially at work. You want to feel like you're all on a team together and on the same side, not competing against each other for resources. It's not a good idea to constantly sell out your colleagues, especially when they don't deserve it. It's more advantageous to have them on your side in the long run, and it makes your day-to-day much easier to bear. But that's not what this woman did. 

  • Even though this employee had taken all the necessary precautions when it comes to social media use at a job, she still ended up in a tough spot. She couldn't help but feel like her coworker was out to get her. It's frustrating to feel like you have to monitor every single thing you do, even if it's in your free time. So when she was confronted by a higher-up, she felt incredibly betrayed. So she turned to the internet for a little advice. She had tried to do everything right, and it still backfired. Read on to see what happened in this story and decide what you think about it. 

  • Social media and work culture is... weird.

    I'm really frustrated with the way employers treat employees' personal social media as something they deserve to police and have final say over. For context, I am not someone who posts publicly. I only have Facebook and Instagram. Neither has my last name (I use my first name and middle name), and everything is set to
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • friends/followers only. My place of employment is not listed on my profile. I have 42 friends on Facebook and 12 followers on Instagram. That's to say, I'm not sitting here publicly posting to hundreds of people. I also refrain from sharing things I think are inflammatory, despite the fact that no one can publicly see them. In the past I liked posting about my interests (book reviews,
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • memes about video games, and just stuff that made me laugh), stopped doing that as well. My posting is super scarce, and I mainly just use social media to scroll (though I'm even trying to do that less). Somehow, even with all of that, two of the places I worked directly after graduating college
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • (2022/2023) I had coworkers actively seek me out on social media solely for the purpose of screenshotting things and sending them to management. One took a screen-shot my Instagram page because I had a bunch of emojis as my bio, and it included a singular rainbow emoji and a crystal ball. The other fully follow requested me, and we were on good terms (I thought) so I accepted it. She sent them a
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • selfie I took at home and put on my Instagram story-- it was not revealing, I was in loose Khakis, a tank top, and a cardigan. I genuinely got reprimanded for both of these things by supervisors. I was lectured about optics for having a rainbow/crystal ball in my bio, because they were worried "how it would look" if someone
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • interpreted that as me being qu r or witchy (I am both, so that would be the correct interpretation). I was lectured about posting a selfie because I posted it on a holiday when the office was closed, but during 9-5 hours, and they said it could look bad if a client saw it and assumed I posted it while I was at work. (They did not care that the account was private, and I'd fully had to approve for that coworker to even see that)...
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • I now have a pretty strict rule that I do not add anyone from work on any form of social media. I will sometimes add a favorite coworker after I leave an employer, but not during my time there. My direct supervisor thinks it's odd that I won't add her and has hinted a couple of times about it. I do not add clients, either, so there is nothing anyone
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • we work with can see that she can't. She seems almost suspicious of what I'm posting, but I straight up don't think it's fair to be forced to add coworkers on social media. If they need me, they have plenty of other ways to get in contact with me.
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • It's just exhausting. "A client or partner might see your social media that you've been careful to keep private, so make sure you don't have any personality or personal interests! Don't post about the books you read, some of them have qu Ir characters! Don't post about your spirituality unless it's Christianity! Don't post that you play video games, or breathe air, or eat food! Never post any selfie that shows a centimeter of cleavage, or shows you as an individual!"
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • I actually think we should be allowed to exist outside of work and be people outside of just the job we do to pay our bills. Hot and controversial take, apparently.
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • Two businesswomen have an argument in the office
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A woman looks frustrated at her computer while her coworker averts her eyes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Commenters agreed that this was over-the-top behavior.

    Mrdingus6969 This work place sounds creepy, they have no dominion over your personal life.
    via u/Mrdingus6969
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply Unfortunately this has been the norm in the field (social services). Every place I've worked has had social media policies that include basically keeping everything completely private and non- controversial.
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • _SolarCitrine_ man that's so messed up, some people really need to mind their own business
    via u/_SolarCitrine_
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply To be fair those places also had major bu ying/clique issues, which is why I left. But it's still just such a weird and intrusive norm
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • Final_Lingonberry586 I agree with you entirely. My name on socials is not my actual name. Nor is my actual name turning up anything on Google. My accounts are private. And I actively search out coworkers by name/phone number and block them. My life is mine. They are not my friends.
    via u/Final_Lingonberry586
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply When you Google me by my full name, it's only my LinkedIn (I don't post on it but it seems like you have to have one for job searches) and my bio on my employer's site. I want to block my coworkers but I feel like I'll get sh for it somehow if/when they notice
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • butterballartemis I work in alcol and d g counseling. My door plaque has my first name last initial and I don't use my real name on socials. Even so I'm careful about what I post. It's bulls and I feel your pain.
    via u/butterballartemis
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply Clients can't know we're people!! /s
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • butterballartemis Nope. Being human is not allowed. We had one client find a counselor on Facebook and then proceed to threaten her and her children.
    via u/butterballartemis
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply I fully believe that unfortunately. I wonder how much of it is capitalism being ridiculous and how much for social services is clients being ridiculous/social service workers just being dehumanized
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • Aggressive Camera666 I flew out to visit a family member last summer from Friday evening to early Monday morning before work. I was home for all of my work hours. My mother posted a picture of us in this other state and my companies ceo saw it. He had my direct manager setup a big meeting so they could tell us that we can't work outside of the state and that we should be telling them. They then complimented their golden boy for constantly reporting his whereabouts. Smh. It's so weird. I had to h
    via u/Aggressive_Camera666
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply Checking family's social media is insane... suddenly very glad my partner's social media is private
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • XplainThisShit I never ever add someone from work on socials. There is LinkedIn for adding work contacts. Socials, for REAL friends, thats why I don't have many on there LinkedIn is for all and everyone work related Period
    via u/XplainThisShit
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply That's how I use things now too, but apparently that's also an issue
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • Illiander That's why you have pseudonyms. Why the f ever got normalised that you use the internet with your real name I will never understand. (Actually I do, it's so the pedo class can make money selling your data)
    via u/Illiander
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply I honestly only use Facebook to keep up with people who know my real name, and Instagram for concert announcements and because I like doing photo dumps with a little song behind it. I don't even post anything worth a pseudonym. Which makes all the insistence and criticism over the years weirder
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • Adventurous-End-1369 Well many moons back, when I worked on kind-of-corporate (under cultural ministry), I was demanded to hand over my social media names, so they could keep eye on those. Now drama rose that I had none. Literally - no Facebook, no IG, No twitter and they started month long drama of it between HR and mid- management because "everyone has social media" and someone had heard me say that "even if I had one, I wouldn't tell you it" I understand and believe in FAFO - what you say onl
    via u/Adventurous-End-1369
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply I have been told by every place I work that its part of their background check so that they don't hire someone who makes them look bad online. I get it to an extent-- you don't want public political posts or excessive drama. But why is me quietly existing in a circle of maybe 45 people up for scrutiny?
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772
  • meowlia I block people before they can find me we work 9-5 and we are not friends, don't add me, snap me, tiktok me or whatever because you'll never find me. The days of being friends with coworkers ended in my 20s after being burned twice, never again.
    via u/meowlia
  • ConclusionNaive9772 Original Poster's Reply Its probably too late at this job, but I think next time I move employers I'm gonna have to just do this
    via u/ConclusionNaive9772

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boss antiwork workplace-stories toxic-workplace job bosses coworkers working social media workplace bad bosses
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